Giving Birth in Lockdown Scotland: The Highs and the Lows
by Rhiannon J Davies
“So how was it.. having a baby during lockdown?” It’s a question I’ve heard countless times since giving birth in May. The truth is, I have nothing to compare it to; I’ve never given birth not in lockdown. I only have my lockdown baby.
The fear set in mid-March, when pregnant women were told they were in an ‘at risk’ category and advised to stay home for 12 weeks. From then on, I sheltered in my Govanhill flat, leaving only for my daily bout of exercise in Queen’s Park.
I had to attend my appointments alone. As well as routine check-ups, this also included being sent for emergency scans, because the midwife was worried that my baby wasn’t gaining weight. When I was worried about reduced movements, I had to go to hospital to be attached to monitors. Alone, I listened to her wavering heartbeat – hoping that was normal. I never had to experience the pain of getting bad news alone, and my heart breaks for those who did.
My NHS antenatal classes were cancelled and, at that point, no free alternatives were available. Instead I signed up to private online sessions run by Happy Parents, Happy Baby. My partner and I joined parents from Shetland to Somerset as we attempted to put a nappy onto a teddy and learned what an episiotomy was. We didn’t have the opportunity to meet other parents living locally to enter this strange new world with.
Like other mums, I turned to social media for information and advice. I joined Facebook groups like Pregnancy and Postnatal Support Scotland, Positive Birth Glasgow and Born in Lockdown Scotland along with those run by the Positive Birth Company. These provided the most up-to-date inside information on birthing experience and guidelines, offering invaluable resources and support, and answering all the burning questions that even midwives sometimes seemed unsure about. I joined online pregnancy yoga classes run by Yogabellies Southside and was able to connect to other local mums that way.
I read countless stories of birth partners being sent home or forced to wait outside, unable to enter the hospital until it was confirmed the mother was in established labour. So when the time came, we put off going in until we were absolutely certain it was happening. As I entered by myself, the security guard warned my partner not to leave the car park; he’d seen other partners miss the birth of their own child. It wasn’t until after I’d waited to be seen, been assessed and then taken to my own room that I was allowed to phone my partner to tell him to come in.
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It turns out my baby was in a hurry. Just one hour later she burst into this world, as sunset poured in through the windows, painting the whole room golden. We were allowed to enjoy two blissful hours as a new family, before my partner was asked to leave and I was taken to the shared ward. At this point, due to her low birth weight, I didn’t know when I would be discharged and how long it would be before my baby would see her dad again.
Instead I spent a sleepless night trying to figure out how to breastfeed, wind and change my tiny bundle. Even the idea of leaving her alone while I went to the bathroom seemed impossible. Masks covered the midwives faces, so although they offered advice, I never got a reassuring smile that would have made all the difference. If the consultant who delivered my baby came up to me in the street, I wouldn’t know her from Eve. Luckily, I was out the next day. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for new mums who had to stay in for a few days or more, totally alone and coming to terms with lives that had been changed forever.
Coming home, we were welcomed by one neighbour in our close leaning from her window. She’d waved me good luck as we’d departed for hospital the day before. In the opposite tenement, another neighbour had noticed we’d been absent for the Thursday night clap and shouted across the street to find out news of the baby. Community spirit has run high ever since, and we’ve been blown away by the generosity of people who, perhaps with a bit more time on their hands due to lockdown restrictions, have sent gifts and well wishes to us as a new family.
Of course, nothing stands still in these times. In July, Nicola Sturgeon announced that pregnant woman would be allowed to be accompanied to some appointments and to early pregnancy. And earlier this month, after pressure from campaign groups such as Pregnant Then Screwed and BirthBliss Academy, the UK government lifted restrictions on birth partners in England. However, it has been left to individual health trusts to decide whether or not to lift these restrictions, and many hospitals have kept them in place, leading to additional confusion.
There are many ways in which new mums have struggled. Other campaigners have called upon the government to extend maternity leave by an extra three months to allow new mums time “for bonding and social engaging with other parents and babies through baby groups which are vital for development.” Their petition has been signed by around 238,000 people.
Of course, there are wider issues around gender equality too, such as the burden of childcare during the lockdown falling largely upon the shoulders of women, and the knock-on impact this has had on their careers. Unfortunately, stories abound of pregnant women or working mums being made redundant, or being made to work in unsafe conditions. A survey by Pregnant Then Screwed, found that 45 per cent of workers had not had a risk assessment carried out on their working conditions, and that this figure was even higher for Black, Asian and Ethnically Diverse pregnant women.
Pregnant Then Screwed survey findings from their website
As much as the injustices suffered by other mums pain me, the honest truth is that for the last four months I’ve been cocooned inside my own little bubble, forging my own path through the early days of motherhood and finding support wherever I can. Our family is all south of the border. So travel restrictions and Covid concerns meant that they didn’t meet the new arrival until she was ten weeks old. Instead we looked forward to visits by health professionals to provide support and reassurance. Some mums in other areas haven’t even had these.
Catriona Hastings, a Health Visitor who works as part of the Govanhill Health Visiting Team told me that this has been one of the most difficult issues for many new mums:
“For many new parents, not having their own parents and extended family around them has been hard to bear. At a time when women feel very vulnerable and often talk of needing their mum for support and guidance, not having them there or seeing the joy on their faces as they hold their first grandchild has been a painful experience.”
“However, the opposite has also been true. Many breastfeeding mothers have had a much less stressful start as they haven’t been able to have visitors. This has given them more time to spend getting to know their baby with unhurried, frequent feeding, and in many cases has reduced the problems we often encounter in the early days of breastfeeding. Dads too have had more time just being with their partner and baby, rather than attending to visitors and making endless cups of tea.
“At around six weeks new parents often begin to venture out to meet other new parents. Those at this stage during the pandemic have found this particularly isolating and report that building relationships through Zoom is draining. I would have expected more mums to be reporting low mood as a result. However, as many partners have not returned to work, many mums tell me they feel like they’re in quite a contented bubble and don’t look forward to the hurry of getting to groups and meeting lots of people.”
Having struggled through the excruciating pain of the early days of breastfeeding alone, I am glad that I wasn’t dealing with visitors at the same time. However, having family members offer support would have been helpful, as would the opportunity to attend breastfeeding groups. As it was, I ‘attended’ an online breastfeeding workshop organised by local social enterprise, Merry-Go-Round, my partner angling the laptop so NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor Margaret Rowbory could get a look at my baby’s latch. I also joined the online version of ‘Baby Café’, normally held in Govanhill Neighbourhood Centre to get additional online help from peer supporters. The Daisy Chain Early Years project have also been sharing help and advice on their Facebook page.
Cary Hobbs-Sargeant, Events Co-Ordinator at Merry-Go-Round told me how they’ve helped new mums through this difficult period:
“As soon as signs of a lockdown were coming, we closed our events space and moved all our classes online so that we were up and running before the official lockdown started. This enabled us to have some continuity for the mums who had already been attending our classes, but also to reach out to those that hadn’t been able to attend at the shop.
“We’ve been actively promoting our support classes for new mums and reaching out to those mums who have been in the late stages of pregnancy/newborn phase of motherhood by developing our antenatal classes for them to attend while all the NHS ones were closed. We’re just onto our sixth block of six classes and we’re about to launch more online antenatal classes to see us through the rest of the year.
“We knew that during the toughest phases of lockdown, a lot of mums were very anxious about how their birth experiences would be affected by the new rules being put in place in hospitals. Our classes were held with an NHS midwife who could talk them through what the situation was like, so that they had a good level of preparation and expectations as to what was to come.
“It’s also been wonderful witnessing so many partners be around for longer than their two weeks statutory paternity leave, I have heard from a lot of mums that they’ve felt well supported, that even once their partners are back at work, they’re still working from home, so they get to share meal times with them, the partners are getting more time with them as they’re not having to leave the house early for commuting etc.
“It’s really highlighted how much better mums would be supported if paternity leave was even six weeks rather than two. Fourteen days is barely enough time to get standing up and feeding established and then, pre-lockdown, mums were on their own with the wee one while also still trying to recover from their labour. A longer statutory paternity leave would help all families a huge amount I think, and any partners I’ve spoken to have been delighted to have so much time with their babies and to support the mums.”
In one lovely example, newborn cousins in Scotland and Australia were able to attend a class together. Online classes have been so successful in fact that Merry-Go-Round hope to continue some of them online even when in-person events can start back up again.
What’s On: Merry-Go-Round online events programme
Work produced in Paint In The Park group
Whenever I’ve bumped into a new mum as I push the pram through Govanhill streets, there have been fleeting moments of connection. Some mums have told me they mourn the maternity leave they thought they would have, which they’ll never get back. One Pollokshields mum organised a a few ‘Paint In The Park’ sessions, and I had a brief glimpse of the camaraderie and face-to-face support that you get from attending a group where everyone knows exactly what you’re going through.
This virus has deepened inequalities in so many ways. Those who already had it tough have suffered more. New mums from ethnic minority backgrounds have had additional issues to contend with. Mothers were already fighting for their rights. And while some restrictions may have been lifted, many mums continue to face maternity discrimination and are often left without any support at all.
So how was it, having a baby during lockdown? At times it was stressful and scary. Sometimes it was lonely, and it was often overwhelming. It was hard, but it was also incredible and unforgettable. Family and friends did what they could via Zoom and by sending care packages. But I couldn’t have done it without the support of strangers. From the thousands of women sharing their experiences online to the expert care provided by midwives. If you know where to look, there’s support out there, but it’s vital that hospitals allow partners to attend appointments with them. No woman should go through this alone.
Local mum, Amie’s Lockdown Story
Amie and Robin
“Lockdown with a baby, I really cannot decide if it has been a blessing or a curse. I honestly sway backwards and forwards daily, sometimes even hourly. My baby boy was born two weeks before the full lockdown started in the UK.
The first week with our newborn was just as I had expected it to be. My mum had travelled up from England for the birth and was of such help taking our bags and bags of washing back to her rented accommodation and popping to the shops to grab us the bits and bobs that we needed.
The second week started to take a strange turn with people hoarding and bulk buying loo roll and baby milk. It got scary. We unfortunately needed to rely on formula and panic buying was seeing it fly off the shelves. We found that fear started to creep in and taint our first memories of becoming parents.
My mother then had to return home as the lockdown came into full force. I panicked. My husband panicked. A new baby for first time parents is hard enough without having no-one to look in on you. No health visitors to say you’re doing a good job, or friends popping by make you a cup of coffee when you’re at your most tired.
At times I felt angry that I couldn’t share my beautiful baby with the world. Over time, has that changed? No. I’m still angry that my best friend hasn’t held my baby. But in all honesty, I have come to realise that the positives of lockdown far outweigh the negatives. Small companies such as Yogabellies and Merry-Go-Round have really rallied together and offer online classes and extra support for new mums.
I have been able to attend online classes and meet new mums from the safety of my own home. I have likely attended more classes this way than if I had to physically go to them. If Robin is having a nap or just not in the mood, I’m still able to pop the class on my screen and feel like I’m part of a community.
These women have become such an important part of my life and it’s to them I reach out for advice and friendship. No matter at what point we are in our journey through motherhood, we are all in the same situation and that seems to me to have brought us closer together. We are planning and looking forward to meeting, and for me lockdown has enabled me to not sweat the small things like a messy kitchen or smuggled mascara during an online class.
We had and still may have a pandemic on our hands, but I’m brave - all of us mums in lockdown are brave - and it won’t be long until we can all let the world see our beautiful babies. Although I’m still scared out of my mind, I’m grateful for the chance to adapt from the norm and become a lockdown mother. We will have such stories to share with our children one day.”